My counseling runs in cycles. It is either feast or famine, deluge or drought. Right now I'm working with two couples, neither in my church. It is an opportunity to share the Gospel, and to rethink some of my personal stuff as well. In the process I'm re-reading Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect. This is one of the best pieces of marriage advice I've come across. I highly recommend it.
The book flows out of the Scripture found in Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband." Peter reinforced the principle when he encouraged wives of ungodly husbands to exhibit "chaste and respectful behavior." (1 Peter 3:1-2)
I had long believed that respect was a missing ingredient in teaching and counseling related to marriage. It was an issue I personally struggled with. Eggerichs presents to us "the love she most desires" and "the respect he desperately needs."
You might pick it up.
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